At Least the Leaves are Changing

Korea, huh? That could be nice.

I really hate using these things as complaint forums so I'll do my best to avoid it. Before I do though, I'd like to mention that I really don't like the "more sensible" lifestyle I've been trying out for the last 9 months or so. One might say it sucks.

Moving on.

I love autumn and hope it lasts more than a week this year. Transition is exciting and ironically more rejuvenating than its post-winter yang. Fall isn't about death; it's about the rebirth of hooded sweatshirts.

I went out for a bottle of wine last night and was carded by the liquor store clerk. She asked how old I was and I responded, "23...err, 24." She laughed as my birthday was almost six months ago and recommended I start practicing "25" now so I'll be ready when it comes.

And this struck me. On one hand I'm still young enough to pass for underage; on the other, time is flying faster than I can presently go. There are a lot of things I'd like to do and accomplish in this lifetime--even if I'm not yet sure of them all--and I can't help but to feel like I'm falling miserably behind at them. Sometimes I wish I were dumb and simple. I wish that an honest day's work left me contented. I wish that I could accept God and the afterlife without asking the questions I think need to be asked. I wish I could be part of the whole.

But I suppose there's time, even if things don't always seem that way. There's always time until there isn't.

It's Been Too Long

I have a bad habit of partitioning my life and then forgetting to pay each bit its due. It's not that I don't realize it's been months since my last login. I'm very aware. It just seems more and more difficult to jump on and say hi as time goes. I wonder if that makes sense.

I'm working a job in a state I didn't think I'd return to, but I'm making more and spending less than I was in New York. This is a good thing. I'm having an easier time figuring out the future, otherwise known as which school/program, and am developing what might be my first ever well-calculated lifeplan. All in all, I can't complain a bit.

Jonas, I am so sorry to read about your little princess. I know what it is to lose a loved one, furry and not, and hope that you're doing ok with it all.

Eleanor, I have not forgotten about you either and have silently frequented your blog these last few months. I hope you are well both personally and professionally.

E.T., I've spoken to you more than the others but still not often enough. Congratulations on surviving your first year.

Here's to keeping in better touch.

Why do people kill each other?

I don't know. And I have nothing else to say about it.

Scratching on Napkins

Sorry to fall off the earth like that, it's kind of a long story. The short of it is I'm moving for a job and should be settled completely in a week. Try not to be too offended either - I've treated my phone, e-mail and diet much in the same way.

I suppose I'll leave you with something I pulled from my pocket a moment ago. I was out of new books and looking through Marilynne Robinson's Gilead on the plane the other night when I had a peculiar impulse. Those of you who know me are surely aware that I don't write poetry. Not even in my private journal. Perhaps you're about to find out why. At any rate, it beats a blank page. Happy New Year.

--- --- ---

The speed of day
Is rare the same for this man
This man's son.
So at this dawn
And in this hour
The world is just begun.

Pray he lift him
Up and up
To taste tomorrow's rain.
Then bring him down
And wipe his brow
Reach touch the rainbow's stain.

If Love is real
Then God is fair
And hearts are wrong to fear.
But at this brink
With child in arm
The Word is not at ear.

And if it be a sin
Then sin
Just hold his person near.